Moe’s Tavern – The Gayest Combination Ever?

Hey folks, Moe here! I’m the resident novelty record collector and drinker of shitty beers. Kristen can have the skillfully-crafted-with-love-and-know-how brews, I’ll take a schlitz. My job here at Now Beer This! is pretty simple, find the most insane combinations of ridiculous album art and equally ridiculous beers I can find and share them with you. I’m no beer expert so a lot of the beers I’ll be choosing will be based solely on the magnitude of insanity they display and how well I imagine they would go with the chosen album.

I decided to hit the ground running with my first article and I may have an insurmountable task ahead of me. I’m trying to find what the gayest combination of beer and album art could possibly be. Now when I say “gay” I’m not using it in a pejorative sense, I quite literally mean, the most homosexual combination of beer and music. This is no easy task, I mean, do I go down the tried and true disco route? Seems trite and cliche, but there’s definitely plenty of homosexual material to work with. No, I think I’ll trudge into the deep end of Christian music because, let’s face it, true believers are pretty gay.

Pink and Powder blue, very “hetero” colors

Searching through my record collection I stumbled across this doozy! Lord, I believe by The Faith Walkers might be the gayest christian album ever produced. Let’s take a look at that cover for a second, just stare at it, I’ll wait…did you laugh? I bet you did! You see Lord, I believe on the outside is just pure hilarity, but it gets funnier the more you research into the album. The Faith Walkers are Mary Ann and Jerry Fiscus (who undoubtedly “prayed the gay away”) who recorded Lord, I believe in an oregon state penitentiary…you see where I’m going with this, right? So we have a guy who screams “ex-gay” preaching to all the malcontents in Oz? Lord, I can tell you what I believe! The music is absolutely nothing to write home about, decent instrumentation over horribly under-produced vocals, essentially it’s the prison tat of christian albums. Here, this isn’t from Lord, I believe, but shows what The Faith Walkers can achieve when they’re in a studio…it’s not much better….

 

I got so caught up in the music, I almost forgot about the beer. Have you ever done a google search for “Gay Beer”? you get a lot of forum posts from potent potable fanboys decrying someone else’s brew of choice. “Bud’s for pussies and queers” or “Miller 64? only faggots drink that shit” Personally, I know a lot of “faggots” and most of them have exceptional taste in beer and the ones who don’t, drink the best swill money can buy. I should know because I get hit on by them all the time, free beer is free beer! However, in my homo-google adventure I stumbled upon a video for a small mexican company called The Minerva Brewery who are the first in the world to market a beer specifically for a homosexual market. They offer two “artisan honey-ales” called Purple Hand and Salamandra (don’t think I didn’t catch that “MAN” in there, you clever little minxes, you!). Here’s the thing though, currently neither of these are marketed in America, so if you’re gay and are looking for a fine honey ale you best ought to plan that trip to Cancun you’ve always wanted becuase these bad boys are only available in Mexico, Columbia, and Japan (for some reason). I think my favorite part about these brews is the ability to unglue the labels and “wear them as a symbol of gay pride”. If either of these find their way stateside I would most certainly bi-curious to try them, look for my review when they finally come out…in America.

gay beer
The first “gay beer”

So there you have it, The gayest Christian album I could find with an “artisan honey-ale” gay beer. I think I may have had a success here. Have an idea you’d like to see in the future? Drop me a comment below or email me at NowBeerThis@gmail.com

-Moe Porne, The Duke of Hurl

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Baroness “Yellow And Green”/Otter Creek Black IPA

THE RECORD:

Baroness “Yellow and Green”

2012 Relapse Records

I really do love everything about Baroness. Starting with their packaging. All of their artwork is done by their own John Dyer Baizley. He also does artwork for a slew of other great bands. CheckĀ  out his art blog if you’re unfamiliar. I picked up this record on yellow and green marbled vinyl. A record that cool-looking already catches my eye and I want to like it before I even put the needle down.

First off, it’s the band’s first double album. It’s not an incredibly long double album, however. Both records combined are only about 75 minutes long. Some people might argue that because of its relatively short length, this record should be one album. I disagree; while some of the songs maintain a certain underlying theme throughout both records, each has its own unique sound that deserves to get showcased.

Yellow really gets things off to a rockin’ start. It has the hooks and the single “Take My Bones Away”, along with single-worth tracks like “March To The Sea” and “Eula”. I work in sound, so production details sometimes stick out more to me- I think the vocal mix sounds perfect on this record. Because there is less of the growling, screaming vocals found on previous records, the vocal mix is a lot more important on this one. They definitely nail it.

Green seems more introspective, and allows a lot of the detailed, guitar work to shine through. I know it’s not very metal of me to say, but I actually thought there were a lot of parts to Green that sounded like they would belong on a math rock record. Metal and math rock aren’t usually found in the same sentence, but this record proves that they can have a lot in common. The technical guitar playing is shown more so on Green than the hooks and riffs that are prevalent on Yellow.

Both records kick off with a “theme” corresponding to the color. This really sets up the record, and works especially well for Yellow. I thought it was much more effective to start with the theme, rather than just jumping in to single “Take My Bones Away”.

THE BEER:

Otter Creek Black IPA

Otter Creek Brewing Company- Middlebury, VT

I really like black IPAs; as a lover of stouts and darker lagers, black IPAs offer characteristics that are familiar to me (sweetness, full body), with the malty, bitter flavor of an IPA.

This beer doesn’t disappoint on those notes. It’s appearance is super dark, almost opaque in the glass. It has a really lovely tan head that is not super thick, and does not linger very long. This beer uses Apollo, Centennial, and Citra hops with caramel malts, which provides a really nice contrast when drinking. Citrus and caramel don’t seem like they would work together but on this brew it’s just right.

At 6% ABV, it’s right in the middle as well, so you can easily have more than one without feeling overpowered by the alcohol content. Too often with delicious stouts the alcohol content is so high, and the body of the beer itself is too big to enjoy more than one. The finish on this Black IPA is so smooth, despite how dark it is. It really does seem more on par with a stout than an IPA. Those IPA fans looking for something with more bitterness may be skeptical, but, like most beers, it is worth trying at least once.

THE PAIRING:

In general, I do not tend to be a fan of bitter, malty IPAs, although I have been experimenting with them a bit more to find some that I enjoy. On that note, I would pair the Otter Creek Black IPA with “Yellow And Green”. I’ve become much more versed and a bigger fan of metal over the past several years. However, much like my opinion of IPAs, I did not immediately fall in love with metal and it took me a few bands to get me into it.

This record appeals to metal heads and non-metal heads alike. Just like OC Black IPA appeals to IPA-lovers and non-IPA lovers too. Even Pitchfork reviewed Yellow and Green. I think it makes a statement as you don’t generally see that many metal records getting written up in there, and that site is a reliable source to so many people. I love that this record is crossing over from loud rock stations into college radio too.

The record is accessible too. It was streaming on so many sites the week it came out, it was so easy to check it out right away. At least here in New England, Otter Creek is a pretty accessible craft brewing company too. The Black IPA seems to be one of their flagship brews, and in that way, I would not be upset if Baroness became a flagship band to get more people into metal.